Sticks and Stones
by Nalanzu
Summary: Het, lime: Training, a blow to the head, and yet more wackiness. Also fluff.


"Goten!"

The child in question cringed and released the Super Saiyan energy level. So did his older brother.

"Mom, we were training," Gohan protested. Carefully.

Chi-Chi stalked over to the two boys. "Goten, you are not to throw rocks at you brother. It's dangerous." She crossed her arms.

"But I wasn't -" Goten started and shrank back as his mother turned her formidable glare on him.

"No more rocks, got it? Find some other way to train."

Both boys sighed in unison. "Yes, Oka-san."

"So now what?" Goten asked once Chi-Chi had disappeared inside. "We gonna keep throwing rocks?"

"No." Gohan shook his head. "We throw something else. Come on." He floated upwards.

"Where're we going?" Goten joined him effortlessly.

"We're going to see Bulma."

"Really?" Goten hopped up and down, a fascinating sight, since he was engaging in this action while in mid-flight. "Can I play with Trunks?"

"Hey!" Gohan growled in mock dismay. "I thought you wanted to help me train!"

"Well, I do, but..." Now Goten looked distressed.

"It's all right, Goten." Gohan reached out and ruffled his little brother's hair. "This is going to take a little while, anyway."

"Okay!" Goten beamed.

Capsule Corps. was mostly quiet, except for the muffled thuds and crashes coming from the inside of the Saiyan-spacepod-derived gravity training sphere occupying the back lawn.

"Hello, Gohan! And you too, Goten!" Mrs. Briefs smiled delightedly at them.

Gohan fought down the urge to hide behind his little brother. "Uh, hi, Mrs. Briefs. Is Bulma here?" He wasn't nervous. Not at all. He stopped himself from backing up a step as Mrs. Briefs turned towards the house.

"Sure she is. BULMA!!!"

"What? What's wrong?" Bulma came out of the door at a run, half her hair wet. "Gohan! What's going on?"

"Uh, hi. I was actually wondering if you could help me with something."

"Oh." Bulma crossed her arms in a very Vegeta-like gesture. "What do you need?"

"Do you have something soft but that Goten can throw so I can practice and not get Oka-san worried even though I wouldn't ever-"

"Kaa-san doesn't want me throwing rocks," Goten added helpfully.

"Ri-i-ight. I'll be right back." Bulma ducked back inside, leaving the two Sons alone with her mother.

"Can I go see Trunks now?" Goten tugged at Gohan's sleeve, oblivious to Gohan's dilemma.

"Uh, sure." Not having the heart to stop his brother, Gohan let his last line of defense against Mrs. Briefs go.

"Yay!" Goten zipped straight for the training sphere. "Hey, Trunks!"

A particularly loud crash sounded, and the door slid open. Trunks came tumbling out, purple hair in disarray. Through the rapidly clearing smoke, Gohan could see Vegeta picking himself up from the floor, smiling proudly.

"Hey, Goten, guess what?" The two young Super Saiyans ran off, chattering excitedly.

Vegeta exited the training sphere, closing the door behind him.

"That Vegeta." Mrs. Briefs smiled brightly. "Always working."

"Uh, yeah," Gohan replied, not really sure of the correct response. Before he could blink, Mrs. Briefcs had him by the arm and was dragging him through the garden. There was no polite way to disentangle himself, and Gohan learned more about sunlight and partial shade than he'd ever wanted to know. He was rescued shortly afterwards by the precipitous reappearance of Vegeta. Wearing the now-infamous pink "Bad Man" shirt he had worn onthe memorable occasion of Frieza's arrrival on Earth.

"Where is Bulma?" It was more of a growl than an actual question.

Mrs. Briefs let go of Gohan, startled. He took the opportunity to move a good three feet away.

"I'm right here!" Bulma tossed a sack at Gohan. "Try these."

The sack was full of lightweight spheres. "Great!" Gohan enthused. "Hey, Goten!"

It didn't take long for the youngest Super Saiyan to arrive, and Gohan tried not to listen to Vegeta and Bulma bickering in the interim. He did note, with some amusement, that the pink shirt stayed.

"What's that, Gohan?"

"Throw one of these at me." Gohan tossed the gray ball to Goten.

"O-kay..." Goten's expression of doubt was almost comical.

Gohan prepared to dodge.

"There you guys are!"

The interruption, just as Goten started to throw, sent the small sphere flying in an entirely different direction. "Otou-san!"

Goku landed on the ground at the same time that the ball impacted on the back of Bulma's head. She hit the ground a fraction of a second later.

"Oops!" Goten clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Oh, no, Bulma!" Gohan started forward. Vegeta beat him there, followed closely by Goku.

"Goten, Trunks, go inside. You too, Mrs. Briefs." Gohan herded everyone who would listen inside. Bulma would probably be fine. At least, he fervently hoped so.

Outside, Goku hung back. Vegeta's glare made it clear that he didn't want anyone else near his wife.

"What...?" Bulma groaned and opened her eyes.

"Are you all right?" Vegeta asked quietly.

"I...think so." Bulma sat up, and then clambered to her feet with only minimal help from her husband.

"Kakkarot," Vegeta snapped, obviously relieved and not knowing how else to express it. "Your son -"

Bulma screamed.

"What?" Goku snapped into a fighting stance and then blinked in bewilderment. Bulma was looking at _him_.

She threw herself at Vegeta. "Help me! Save me from the bad man!"

For once in his life, Vegeta was stunned into near speechlessness. "What?"

Bulma pointed at Goku."Him! He's a bad man! Make him go away!"

"I'm not going to hurt you, Bulma." Goku started forward, hand held out.

Bulma screamed again, causing the Saiyan to come to a halt. "No! Make him -" she ducked behind Vegeta. "Make him go away!"

"He's not a -" Vegeta started. 

"No! He's not the bad man!" Bulma jumped back and ran straight for Goku. "You're the bad man! You wanted to blow up the Earth! Stop him!" She tugged on Goku's orange gi for emphasis. 

"Bulma, he's not going to blow up the Earth," Goku tried to say. 

Vegeta took a step towards his wife. "I don't want to blow up this miserable planet, woman." 

"Yes you do!" Bulma shrank further back, pressing into Goku. "Don't come near me!" 

Vegeta stopped. 

"It's okay, Bulma. Here, let's go inside." Goku guided her towards the house, motioning for Vegeta to stay where he was. Vegeta crossed his arms and glared, trying to follow them inside anyway. A fresh scream and a plea to "stop the bad man" deterred him. 

"Let me see her, 'Tou-san." Gohan checked the bruise, and looked at Bulma's pupils. "She's got a concussion, but it should go away on its own. A senzu bean might help, if you have one." 

"Then give her one," Vegeta ordered, having managed to slip inside unnoticed. 

Bulma clung to Goku, who extricated a small green seed from a pouch at his belt. "Eat this, okay?" 

She nodded, and swallowed the bean. "Oh." She blushed. "I'm sorry, you guys." 

"Is my Oka-san all right now?" Trunks asked in a small voice. 

"Yes, I'm fine." Bulma smiled at her son. "Go outside and play, okay?" 

"Okay!" In a mercurial change of mood, he was off with Goten in tow. 

"She's fine, Ve- Vegeta?" Goku frowned. The other Saiyan had vanished. Gohan had taken off with the balls and a shouted "thankyou!" to Bulma. Bulma had vanished as well. Goku caught the sound of a hair dryer a few rooms over. He found Vegeta crouched on the steps leading to the training sphere, staring moodily off into space. 

"Kakkarot, leave me alone." 

"She didn't mean it," Goku ventured anyway. 

"Kakkarot..." Vegeta's hands began to glow. 

Goku beat a hasty retreat. This was probably one of those times when it was wiser to leave well enough alone. "Uh, Bulma?" 

His childhood friend's girlishly pretty face appeared around the doorframe. "What is it, Goku?" 

"Maybe you should, um, talk to Vegeta. He's..." Goku spread his hands helplessly. He didn't know how to do this. "He's relly upset," he finished in a rush. 

To his surprise, Bulma blushed. "I will, okay?" 

Immensely relieved, Goku smiled. "Great!" Now... it was time to figure out exactly what Gohan had been trying to do with a bunch of bean bags. 

Left alone, Bulma looked at the hairdryer and sighed. She was going to have to face her husband sooner or later. 

She found him behind the Capsule Corp. gravity machine, the simulator set for 450G but not activated. "Vegeta?" 

"Leave me alone, woman." 

"Look, I came to apologize, all right?" She put her hands on her hips and resisted a childish urge to stamp her foot. Vegeta wouldn't even look at her. "Are you even listening to me?" 

"Go away, woman." Was it her imagination, or did he sound...defeated? 

"I will not." He was sitting crosslegged on the floor. She sat in front of him. "I'm not going anywhere." 

"I have had enough of your delusions. You made your feelings perfectly clear." He still refused to look directly at her. 

"As if that was my fault! I got hit on the head, remember?" This was getting irritating. 

Vegeta remained silent. 

"You are going to pay attention to me whether you like it or not." She glared. 

"I have nothing to say to you. Woman." 

Bulma hesitated for about a second, leaned forward, and kissed him on the mouth. Vegeta tried to pull back, but with the gravity machine behind him, there was nowhere to go. After a few seconds, he stopped resisting. Bulma smiled internally and deepened the kiss, moving to remove the offending pink shirt. Vegeta's hands were on her as well, tearing the cloth of her shirt like paper, running roughly over her skin. the buttons on the pink shirt were somehow too complicated, and with muttered imprecations, Vegeta hauled it and the white undershirt beneath it over his head. Bulma latched onto the bare skin, kissing and biting, eliciting little moans of pleasure. His hands moved lower, pulling her in closer, and... 

...the door swung open. "Tou-san? I'm ready for the training now." Little Trunks wandered around the gravity enhancer. "Tou-sa-" His eyes widened. "Oka-san? What are... um, I... I.. sorry..." He turned and fled. 

Bulma dissolved into helpless giggles. "I think you should go have a talk with him." 

Vegeta gaped. "Me? Why should I have to do it?" 

"Because." She poked him in the chest. "You're a _man_. And he's your _son_. Besides," she added reasonably, "I don't have a shirt." 

"Wear this one," Vegeta growled, tossing the pink shirt at her. 

Bulma pulled it on. "You're still talking to him." She gathered up the remnants of what had been a rather attractive tank top. 

"Oh, fine." Vegeta stalked out the door. A few seconds later, he poked his head back in. "We're finishing this later." 

Bulma smirked. "You're the boss." 


End file.
